Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
