Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
