you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
