Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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