Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
