i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
