You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
