I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I had to cum in my sink.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
