Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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