cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sober January is a disaster.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
