I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize