put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
