your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
