the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
