I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
