No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
