Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
