Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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