i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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