That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
