There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
that's an acceptable place to lick
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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