Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize