my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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