Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
