She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
