On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
