i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
