I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
