I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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