I wanna passion pit in your ass
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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