You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just google imaged poop.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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