I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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