Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
