Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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