I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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