I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
