I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
