Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
