is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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