Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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