here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
