i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
