He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
