Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
All I want is dick and wine.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
