You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
