just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
