I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
