bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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