What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
