is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
