There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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