He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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