Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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