The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
