Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sobbing to NWA
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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