you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
