my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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