I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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