your room smells of hookers.
And success
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize